Posted by: grantmiho | June 6, 2011

Reflections and Lessons from My 20s: Pt. 2

Recently I turned 30, which sparked some reflection on this past decade. I started to share some of these last week. Here is the continuation of those thoughts.

3. Focus on becoming the person you are looking for is looking for

Too often we can become single-minded about finding a boyfriend/girlfriend in this season of life. Not a bad pursuit, but not the only pursuit worth having. It can easily be all about looking for that special someone, only to bemoan nobody meeting those high standards or reciprocating similar feelings towards you. Possibly more important than just keeping your eyes open for that potential mate is making sure you are aware of your own life and growth. When you do meet that person, will they sense that you are the person that they have been searching for as well? I’ve known guys who talk about finding a great Christian girl but complain when nothing is happening. Though such girls might be rare, my initial thought is that even if I knew a wonderful Christian girl, I may not want to set them up together as he might pull her down. I was fortunate that Miho met me when she did. Being a little older than me, had we met when I was 19, she most likely would have thought I was too immature for her (not that I didn’t have a lot of growing up still to do when we actually did meet!). My challenge for you is to continue praying and looking for that future mate, but also continue growing in your own life to become that person that he/she is also looking for.

4. Develop healthy and godly habits, as they will work in your favor for years to come (or their absence will pull you down)

Just like investment advice, if you start making good decisions early on, you will reap great rewards down the road. It works the same way with your habits. Setting bad patterns in college life or early professional life will only lead to poor choices, stunted growth, and missed opportunities to become who God desires you to be. Patterns laid down about my Bible reading or prayer life during college and seminary, for better and for worse, continue to impact my present life. Give attention the areas in your life that you sense are important and demand key goals and habits: such as your spiritual life, relationships, money, health/fitness/eating, family life, work, etc.

5. Wherever you currently are, be there

This season of life is often filled with high levels of transition. Whether it is switching jobs, pursuing more education, or experiencing new things, it is easy to coast through these brief seasons. I learned this lesson while working as a college pastoral intern at 21. A key leader in the youth group graduated high school and was about to move off to college. That summer, he wanted to just hang out with his friends, enjoy these final moments, and relax. A pastor challenged him to be where he was, rather than already live as though you have moved away. This would have been easy in relationships, as I could rationalize that I will be moving next year, I’m busy with my studies, etc. etc. Yet, I would have missed out on some much had I been only living in the next step of my life rather than pour into those I was currently with. Knowing we were going to move away after seminary for missions, it would have been easy to shy away from starting a youth group, which would take considerable amounts of time and effort. However, God had us at Highrock in Boston for that season of our lives. Fortunately, our lives, experiences, friendships, partnerships, and influence were incredibly changed for the better as a result of being fully present where God had us at the time. Even if you are only where you are for a few months or a year, make the most of it. Invest in lives, even if it may not seem like it will benefit you in the long run. Who knows how God might use that brief encounter or moment in time for something wonderful?Who knows how God might also shape your life by living in your present reality?

Thank you all for the wonderful birthday wishes. May this next decade bring even greater wisdom and experiences 🙂

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